there is a way out

Because we all—men and women alike—need recalibration, I believe it is wrong to call our spouse names. Even if he has a weakness, he also has achievements. He might enjoy alcohol, yet excel in business administration. She might be a compulsive buyer, yet still be a hardworking housewife. I am not advocating drinking alcohol or losing control when buying things; I am simply reminding us that people are more than just “alcoholics” or “wasters of financial resources.”

Spouses who face the hardship of living with a problematic partner need to engage in prayer more seriously than ever—seeking to rescue their partner and involve them in a process of spiritual and intellectual growth. I know it can seem impossible, but as the Puritans wrote, “heavy sins argue strong grace.” Great addictions require the liberating, strong grace of God. Be confident that God will grant it in His time—even if that is in decades—and pray for wisdom for both of you, so that you may handle these situations from a spiritual perspective rather than a worldly one.

It is true that an addict can only find recalibration if he follows certain laws and regulations—which, for the Christian, is the Bible. More than that, reading and obeying the Bible becomes the ultimate blessing that frees from addiction. Knowing from Scripture that we are in a wrong situation gives us the hope that the God of the Bible can also set us free. Remember: Israel was a small nation, yet it conquered the giants of the Promised Land by the power of God. In the same way, the invisible giants in our lives are slowly crushed in our own process of recalibration—through the help of strong grace, the spiritual power of God.